Shivering the Limbs
A hard hand had her in the dirt,
twelve-year-old school skirt rent, awry;
fetor of blood and semen.
Clutching callow fruit to her breast,
insidiously inseminated; the race
programmed to propagate.
A destitute Mestiza grandmother
is taken in childbirth, slipping and keening
in a crimson flood, awash and away
after shock conception (bravely, a miracle).
Gaia barely blinked as
She spun on the callous breeze,
shivering the limbs of trees.
Categories: Luke Prater, Poetry Childbirth, Death, Female Sexuality, Free-verse, Gaia, Human Condition, Life, Male Sexuality, Mother Earth, Nature, Rape
Luke, I feel so many emotions with strength that overwhelms as I read this poem. The opening portrays a horrendous condition, one that grabbed me and wouldn’t let go. No child should ever have their childhood ripped away from them, ever. My emotions related to the grandmother stacked on top of the already raw emotion of the child… then in the end, the world goes on in spite of humanity.
Brilliant poetry. Strong, bold, raw and overwhelming. Brilliant.
Beth
thanks Beth
This is going to be one of my favorites of yours. Raw, as Beth said, is a good descriptor. The contrasts of age, of birth and death, the references to Gaia and this overwhelming urge to propagate…you have a unique ability to write an epic in few lines.
Re: you comment on my prose…prose is actually my primary genre and my first novel is finally at the publisher, due to be released around beginning of Dec. And that explains why I’ve been so remiss till now in participating in FEPC. I don’t want to not be a part of it, though. Hopefully, soon. I have one I want critiqued. V
You have a publisher for your novel? Congrats!
Luke this poems rises to another level (to quote a fellow reader :)), I don’t know if it is my absolute favorite of yours, but it ranks up there in my top three. You’re such a skilled poet and pieces like this really showcase that skill. That last stanza is just superb…I can hear those leaves shivering. I look forward to reading this one in print someday…this is just stunning poetry.
lots of shock and awe in this one…esp since we just had 2 teachers busted for nipping the kids….so the opening scene stings….the grammas having babies as well…but have seen that too….you bring it in this one…
Very powerful, incredibly sad.
Well, now that got my attention! Well written, cuts to the nerve endings.
You have a gift for words and phrases that create powerful language and word pictures. I hope some day I can find the depth of my creative soul to do the same.
Thank you for the experience of reading this.
☮ Siggi in Downeast Maine
Thank you all for your kind words
Such harsh images and then mother earth just continues to spin as if nothing. This one will be hard to shake today.
Indeed. The cruel mother, but these are human constructs
Luke- Wow, such stark images and strong content… this is amazing… two extremes like in a movie.
More than anything, I think it is the precision of your language that allow the emotional power to grip and not let go. The structure works cinematically… close ups and the final long shot to offer a very diffrent perspective. It’s a finely tuned poem, Luke, one that exploits your poetic talents..relevant and timeless and a clear work of art.
i like your untamed words no holding back the feelings when writing hope you let me come back to read more xxjen
PUISSANT
Your poetry takes my breath away and forces me to be present to what you so beautifully describe. How often we turn away from the horrors of life instead of looking at what we can learn from them and how we can help. Thank you, for reminding us to care and act. hugs, pat
Thanks for your comments, much appreciated
Reading this again, Luke. Still just as powerful.
I’ve got so much going on offline, new poetry is unlikely right now! Cheers my friend
Powerful is certainly a good description of this, Luke. So are the other words ppl have used for it. You have a way of getting right to the heart of a matter, and I like that you are not afraid to show things as they ARE, rather than the way people would wish them to be. The subject matter is uncomfortable and disturbing, but I’m glad you don’t let that stop you. This was well-wrought.
Wow. talk about shivers. I was caught from the first.
thanks both of you for reading and commenting, much appreciated
Clicking like is not correct, but neither is it a lie. I cannot explain in the right words what I felt reading this. I want to scream in protest, punch the walls in anger, yet cry for that terrified girl.
To render me ‘lost for words’ is unusual, to provoke such emotions is difficult, you did both with these few words and that sir, is the biggest compliment I can pay.
wassup man, already hit this one but wanted to swing by and say hi…know your hands are full so its always great to see you as well…hope life is treating you good…
Incredible story captured here. You really have a way of getting to the point and laying things raw. Hit with the line “…Gaia barely blinked,” such indifference after such violence. Striking piece, Luke.
@Luke Prater
So pleased to read it again, Luke. This is strong and one of those poems that lingers. xx
thanks all. Tino that is a profound effect… I guess I should be happy but I almost feel like saying sorry
Wow…first view of your site…straight to the soul, that…makes me want to hold her, rock her, take it all away…
Powerful write and heartbreaking !
I’ve read this many times, trying to pull it apart, but the underlying thread remains strong…the brutality of rape,(be it human, be it earth) the violation of it all. A strong piece ~
Whenever I come back to one of your poems I’ve already read, I seem to find even more. The image of Gaia in the last stanza smacked me this read through…the callous breeze.
Don’t think I can read this a third time.. Rape is too frightening; yet, I peek again, because the power of your words and Mother Earth draw me. Powerful and daring piece!
Well, reading your poetry always has the most powerful effect than any other poetry I read on the blogs around. Original, full with emotions and questions … little lessons in each line and freedom, there is always this feeling of freedom in your thoughts.
The ending with Gaia is my favorite here, the breeze and the shivering …
The Bomb!
D
R
O
P
S
awesome!
Sad and powerful.
Hi Luke
Starting with a powerful imagery of rape and then bringing on the earth as the outraged girl was a powerful ending …. you took me on a raw journey…
Powerful verse…
Shashi
ॐ नमः शिवाय
Om Namah Shivaya
http://shadowdancingwithmind.blogspot.com/2011/11/whispers-where-you-will-go.html
Brutal. The consequence of being female in some places unfortunately, to be treated like an object, something to receive whether she wants to or not. Disturbing and sad.
I remember the final stanza of this from your Facebook post, you are correct emotions shift with the words its preceded by. Its horrid the taking and brutality of the imagery. I sit impressed by the way you present the juxtaposition mother plays in our individual experience. ~ Rosie
Thanks all. I should clarify – this is based around the tenet that Nature/Mother Nature/Gaia doesn’t have a preference between rape of a girl if she’s able to bear children and fruit of a loving longterm marriage. Nature doesn’t think like that. These are human value-judgements and emotional responses to the nastier ways the race propagates, which is in our blueprint. I had a line ‘Nature couldn’t even know indifference’… I chopped that one, it was too blatant, but that’s the crux of it. It’s not about being a woman. It’s about the ethical compass of the evolved human being/their societies/Civilisations Vs. Nature. Gaia is not elated for you either if you reach 100 and feel full of life. But she’ll keep pushing you with life-force until you die. Which is just a natural part of the cycle.