I Make a Lot of Money
I write shit.
Excreta. Excrement. That which is excreted.
Pen dipped in diarrhoea; paper, brown. Like
a bag, but deeper, and more variegated in hue.
Or perhaps like it’s been duly wiped
on the sullied post-defecation arse
of the Abominable Yes-or-No-Man;
Editor-in-Chief at Scat Publications LLC.
Polished turds for thirds as an undergrad geek.
Mac keys stickied with sloppy ca-ca;
mind a synaptic sewer; books reeking
cesspit simile. Don’t look for the lit. Smell it.
Retreating to the toilet for fresh air,
in dilated hubris -
I write shit; I’m rollin’ in it.
Categories: Luke Prater, Poetry Art vs. Money, Avarice, Money, Poetry Profession, Publishing, Publishing Industry, Selling Out
I know you all love this one. I’m really peaking, I can feel it. Hitting some silver now. Oh yes. The poetry is veritably flowing from my fingertips like etheric energy from the palms of a mystic healer. You won’t find finer trope and wordsmithery this side of Eden, folks. Let the comments roll in… ahem. Don’t all jump in at once. My server may get overwhelmed and shut down.
ha, this is great, your comment is awesome as well. Reminds me of a short-story a buddy of mine wrote back as an undergrad, all about defecation and wrapping it up in christmas paper, and there was this whole war motif going on as well, with the trojan corn, which is all I can really recall, but anyhow- fun write, peaking for sure.
haha…this is a riot luke….and the comment only makes it all the better…here is what i figure…90% of what i write is shit…but you got to get through it to get to the 10%…so write…realising this freed me a bit from the pressure of producing…or trying to make my shit smell better…i was going to ask about the money and sharing you know…ha…just call me cornholio
first of all–ICK
but here are my number-two cents– (keep your headphones handy)
ink spit lit’
outback
the Shitpit- dig it?
vowel sounds
grumble
rumble, pound the bowels
crushed brown river
gushes
outbound flushing;
saccharine crap
blown emote
around a porcelain throne.
take a smearing swipe
at clichéd
butt-wiped hype
surely I have blown the meter to shit in this piece of poetry. did I say ICK yet?
Step back out into the FRESH AIR with that brilliantly poetic mind of yours!
Thanks….
@Christi Moon You love it. Just admit it. Denial is an ugly thing
I agree with Christi on this – so vivid I could almost smell it – that’s props for your ability to evoke such visceral reactions from your readers, btw. I think every writer goes through this (some all the time, some only a few times, some every time they write). But this too, shall pass. As you know.
It gets frustrating, but I admire that you managed to take that frustration and produce something, even if you don’t like it. If you can make some money from it, even better. And if you can make a lot of money from it, then you have a gift for it.
And I just have to say: WOW, Christi! That was damned good.
@Dragon Ka-Tet Corina – I think Christi was showing deep disapproval at my poem. On the other hand, the poem is not about me struggling and writing shit. I actually quite like it. It’s about people writing shit and getting paid for it (erotica, YA, badly-written horror, that kind of thing), while many brilliant writers struggle. As in many of the arts. It may have started as a joke (the poem), but I tried at least to actually make it into a statement piece (containing some poetry). I wouldn’t have blogged it if I thought it actually was utter shit. It was borderline bloggable but I’ve said that about several pieces that other people have lauded. Christi just doesn’t like the word ‘shit’ or its synonyms I think :) ‘dilated hubris’ is not something a bad poet would think up, is it? Or maybe it is… help me, someone…
Luke, stop bashing this masterpiece :D
Seriously, I think this touches on something that most writers/artists can relate to and it’s funny which is always a plus.
Last line is perfect…
Oh fer shit’s sake!
I am not showing my deep disapproval at your poem.
The original version of this was written as a joke and had an even scattier references to gastrointestinal end-products/processes. I love the fact that you are calling out the poetic prostitutes that write anything to make a buck.. and the pimps (publishers that push it) Certainly it is frustrating to witness the publication of some very poorly penned crap, BUT the world is not put together in a way that makes any sense… and I hate to see you get bogged down in this.
You know how I feel about this poem (we spent hours discussing this very issue, did we not?) I am not a huge fan of the shit/feces/defecation/excrement language but I do think that your revision has some creative word-play; in particular the second stanza really spews; poetically speaking.
You’ll have to excuse me now… I am off to have a colonic, it’s being videotaped for youtube, don’t miss it.
also @ Corina– glad you enjoyed my shitty-little rant :)
A nice rhythm to your motion Mr P…
Not and ode to shit but a turd-smearing of flushable publishers. Perfect weapon of choice I say… :)
Didn’t sense any bogging down..rather the reverse… this is going to be one of those threads to frame…
@Luke Prater
Oh…Merde! There I go, taking things waaaaaay too literally again. Agreed, there are some overpaid hacks out there who simply follow formula(s). No, I don’t think ‘dilated hubris’ is necessarily something a bad poet would come up with, but is it redundant? Isn’t most hubris dilated pride anyway? Or were you just talking about assholes in general?
@Dragon Ka-Tet surely the hubris must be dilated in that sense of it in order to perform the function? And in the other sense, ‘dilated’ as the adjective would make the ‘hubris’ even more emphatic, no?
@Christi Moon You having a colonic? On YouTube? ha! I dare ya. Thanks for the comments, they are appreciated. Interesting thread.
Thanks to all of you for reading what is clearly the shit
This remind me of a poem I wrote a few years back:
Shit Poem
I don’t like reading
poems.
I don’t much
care for writing them either
but then what’s a man
supposed
to do with
all the shit inside of him?
I can’t say why I
have to
lie in it
or even play with the stuff.
It just feels good to.
So what
are you all
about?
You can’t really believe this is art.
Sunday, 25 July 2004
@Jim Murdoch Dude that is awesome… you have a beautiful mind… I have to say I am in agreement with a hell of a lot of what you put out (and like the way you do it)
You are correct – I love this to bits!
Often I feel I am writing a pile of shit! Dammit – post anyway.
Last line is superb!
Anna :o]
@Anna :o] thanks Anna